Skateboarding, the Law and Relationships

The doorbell rang. Jeanna opened the door and there stood a police officer. A neighbor had registered a complaint against us. According to the officer, Coleman and his friends were making too much noise on his skateboard ramp.

We knew the ramp was loud. We had spoken to our neighbor several times about the noise issue. He asked that Coleman limit his skateboarding on the ramp to 45 minutes and only skateboard during the day. Coleman was willing to make this concession, so these terms were agreed upon.

Our neighbor held to a strict interpretation of the agreement. 45 minutes meant 45 minutes. At the first sound of Coleman zooming down the ramp, our neighbor would appear at his back door with watch in hand.

But soon even the 45 minutes was too much to bear. He was retired, and dealing with noisy neighbors was not part of his retirement plan.

He went to City Hall to research the noise ordinances. He pored over the documents,  highlighting all the possible violations on our part. He then met with the police officer, shared his findings and asked that he issue a citation to us. The officer did not agree with our neighbor’s interpretation of the code, but he was obligated to meet with us to discuss the problem.

Soon the problem took care of itself. Coleman lost interest in skateboarding and the ramp began to rot. The interesting aspect of the story is that when our neighbor brought the city ordinances into the picture, a code that he believed stood against us, he stopped talking with us. The law had placed a barrier between us. Any vestiges of a relationship were gone.

We eventually took the ramp down. Our neighbor watched from his window as we did, but he never ventured out to speak with us. That was sad to me. We wanted to be good neighbors, and I know in his heart of hearts he wanted that as well.

This story reminds me of Peter’s actions in Antioch. Paul told the story in his letter to the Galatians. Under pressure from the Judaizers, Peter decided to rebuild the Jewish law in his life regarding the Gentile converts, which meant they had to follow Jewish customs, including circumcision, in order to be embraced by Jewish believers. This became a barrier that stood between Peter and the Gentile believers. As a result, Peter  withdrew from them and ended all relationships. Law does that. It is not the foundation on which to build relationships.

Jesus is the One who brings us together. As Paul wrote, “for he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations” (Ephesians 2:14, 15). The law divides and causes hostility. But all that changes when relationships are built in Christ. He is the foundation for strong, healthy relationships.

Some six months after we tore down the skateboard ramp , my neighbor saw me mowing the yard and stopped to speak. He shook my hand and said, “We got off on the wrong foot, can we start over?” The barrier was gone. And now we’re on the road to becoming good neighbors.

How about you? Has the law become a wall of hostility in any of your relationships?

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • http://Sundaygotomeeting.wordpress.com Lisa

    I’m glad the neighbor stopped by. Yes, the law definitely builds barriers. With the law, we’re so busy making sure we don’t stumble, who has time for relationships? Are we told if Peter and Paul ever patched things up? Paul told the folks he had to get after Peter, but he never mentioned if he forgave Peter for doing what he did. just curious. Several things about that particular story have me curious enough to put the proverbial check mark by it.
    One of the neat things bout Jesus, though, is that He can break down any barrier between His body. It might be a while, but hostilities between children of God really can be mended–and we start truly understanding God’s love for us.

    • http://firstlifethenchange.com Bob

      I’m glad he stopped by as well. It is nice to have the relationship on the right footing.

  • Suzanna

    Funny thing is, when I impose “laws” on myself and my performance, I subconsiously impose those same “laws” on others. As a result, when others’ performance doesn’t meet the standard of my self-imposed law (which I can not meet either I might add!) it causes unintended barriers in those relationships. I pray that I remember that Christ came to give LIFE and abolish the law…including my “own” laws on myself and others.

    • http://firstlifethenchange.com Bob

      Excellent insight Suzanna. Self-imposed laws bring about judgmental attitudes and foster a spirit of condemnation for others. Hardly the stuff of good, healthy relationships. Thanks for joining the conversation.

    • http://sundaygotomeeting.wordpress.com Lisa

      Very good point, Suzanna. I’m betting we all do that, but until you mentioned it, I wasn’t conscious of it. But you’re right..when others don’t live up to what we think they should, (such as the skateboard & neighbor) it can throw up a barrier.
      Lord, help me see myself and others as YOU see us.
      Thanks, Suzanna.

      • Ron Roberts

        “Laws” (Traditions) can quickly knock me off the rail. Loss of focus often happens when I see women & men dressed immodestly @ church. I try to not judge, usually fail, especially with teens who’s parents seem oblivious or an adult wearing loose short clothes! I won’t use the pool @ my apts. because the “suits” leave very little to the imagination.
        I am thankful that I have available the best “refocusing tool” in the universe, Christ Jesus.

        • http://sundaygotomeeting.wordpress.com Lisa

          You’re in good company Ron. As a 4th grade teacher, I’ve got to check my judgmental attitude when some of the students come to school dressed (or not dressed) in what I deem in appropriate attire. “What are those parents thinking?!?!” I’ve found myself griping within.

          Neat how Jesus taps us on the proverbial shoulder and reminds us Whose we are, isn’t it? He often has to remind me that instead of judging the said parent, I need to love them–and not just tolerate them, but love them, the way He loves me.

          Yep. He’s got a lot of work to do in me. Thankfully, He’s up for it ;)